Sam and I just celebrated 9 years of “For Better or For Worse, For Richer OR Poorer, In Sickness and in Health. While our life together has not always been a bed of roses, I am SO thankful Sam is the one by my side through all that we have been through. Here is what we thought are The Best Things about OUR Marriage after 9 years.
We are Best Friends First
This is probably one of the best pieces of advice I can give to anyone, marry your best friend. Amelia and I were friends before dating, so the desire to be around each other, talk with each other, and support one another was already built into our relationship.
Never have I felt like Sam, and I are just roommates, or this marriage is a business transaction. We can talk about anything. Good, Bad OR Ugly. He is my favorite person, and I always want to spend time with him. There are even days where I will tease and try to get him to play hooky from work so the Kids and I can spend more time with him. Our Kids even know that I am Sam’s favorite person and he is mine.
We are Teammates
We work together raising our Kids and running our household. I never feel like there are his OR my chores. We work together and include the Kids. This hasn’t always been the case. Over the years becoming better teammates has taken some adjusting as life has changed. We have learned to continually ask each other, “How can I help you? Our family? Or our household run smoother?”
We Laugh Together
Sam is funny, and that is something I have told him since we were friends. Just the other day we were running errands together. He dropped me off so I could run into the library and pick up some holds while he circled the parking lot. When I came out, he was parked in front of the building and yelled, ” Hurry up, I’m double parked!” This cracked me up and I couldn’t stop laughing as I walked to the Van.
There are no shortages of jokes and laughter between us. I am not saying our relationship is always perfect, however we never crack jokes at the others expense to belittle or degrade. I can say that we laugh a lot together and pick at each other all in good fun.
We can be Ourselves
I never have to put on airs or act a certain way when I am around Amelia. Or when we go places together. I am completely comfortable being myself when I am with her.
We Have Quality Time Together
Even though life has changed many times over the years we have always made Quality Time a priority. Sometimes that looks like going out on a Date while the Kids are with the Grandparents. Other times that is doing something fun at home while the Kids are having Quiet Time or are in bed for the evening.
Most evening just having some relaxed quality time together after the Kids are in bed is good enough. We may just be sitting together while Amelia reads, and I watch a show to decompress after a wild day. We like doing things together whether that be chores, running errands, working on projects, just talking, etc. Doing things separate like Doug and Carrie in the episode Bed Spread from The King of Queens while funny is not something we want for our Marriage.
We Grow Together Not Apart
While there have been good and bad times in our marriage, we are always committed to growing together. We encourage and support each other in personal goals and passions. For example, over the years this has looked like Sam supporting me when I wanted to have Home Births over going to the Hospital. Even though he didn’t agree in the beginning. You can read more on his thoughts in the post Hospital Births vs. Home Births from a Father’s Perspective. Discussing my desire to Homeschool our Kids before we even had any. Creating a Blog to share our journey with others even though it doesn’t look Pinterest pretty. Sam taking a pay cut to work a dream job for a few years.
Sure, there are times when things between us are wonky. But rather than ditch the person we have been married to for 9 years and starting over we choose to be patient. Give the person an extra minute to catch their breath. Then grow together so we can better ourselves, our marriage, and our family.
Experiencing the Birth of Our Babies
This is a reality that Sam and I have gone through together six times over. With every birth Sam has been right by my side through labor, delivery, and postpartum. Even though I may be doing all the “heavy lifting” we are experiencing this joy together.
Sam is always there helping prepare the room while I am laboring. Holding my hand during the contractions. Getting me anything I may need or ask for during labor. Making me a steak to eat post labor and then caring for our family so I can rest postpartum. Never had I had to worry about him checking out mentally, playing video games, or not being there when I need him.
We Dream Together
We have the same vision and desire for our family. As well as our future. Sure, some dreams have changed over the years, but we just pivot. Dream again and move forward trying to make that a reality together.
For More Marriage Resources…
We hope you found this post encouraging! Check out other Marriage Posts we have written together over on the Blog.
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