Trying to date your spouse when you live far from family, have no help, and no Babysitter is hard. My husband and I having been through this scenario numerous times with each job relocation. Let me share with you what we have done over the years to plan dates with no help or babysitter.
PICK a Date Night… The First Step to Plan Dates with No Help or Babysitter
Picking a night to have your date is the first step to plan dates with no help or babysitter. Maybe you choose to do this biweekly, weekly, bimonthly, or whatever works best for you. Pick a date and schedule it on the calendar so you know it is a priority. If possible, keep your dates on the same day or night week to week as this will be most beneficial, and you will be less likely to forget it.
Currently we plan our dates for Thursday and Friday evenings once the kids are in bed. However, if Sam’s work schedule changes we may pick a different evening.
Even with No Help or Babysitter PLAN an Activity for Your Scheduled Date
If you have set a date on the calendar the next step is to plan the date. Do not wait until the last minute to make plans, if you do then you are more likely to skip. This is where you will have to get creative since you will have no help or babysitter to fall back on.
Search online for at home date ideas to get your creative juices flowing. Try a date challenge such as Alphabet Dates where each date you have starts with a letter of the alphabet. Maybe take turns planning the date so you can mix things up. Try to schedule out a few at a time so you have something to look forward to in the coming weeks.
Let Your Kids Know about Your Date Night
Inform your kids about your date nights. Let them know once they are in bed for the night that it is Dad and Mom time. You will be available for emergencies, but you will not be repeatedly coming into their room for every little thing.
I always give our kids a heads up on the day of Sam’s and my date nights. Because they are 6 and younger, I sometimes have to remind them that NO they can’t stay up late with us. NO, we are not going to share our treats with them either. Dad and Mom need to spend time together so we can be our best for each other and our family.
Pay Older Siblings to “Babysit”
I know I titled this how to plan dates with no help or babysitter, but maybe if you have kids 12 or older they can be more of a Mother’s Helper. Maybe the older sibling can play with the younger ones while Dad and Mom hangout in their room. Or older siblings can care for younger siblings and watch a movie in the Livingroom. Then Mom and Dad can enjoy a picnic in the backyard.
Sometimes when our older girls are home, we have them keep an eye on things once the younger kids are in bed. Sam and I can then sneak off for a quick ice cream date or run to Target for something we need. These dates never last longer than an hour, and with the girls being young teenagers we don’t have to worry about things getting out of hand since the younger kids are already in bed.
Include Your Kids on the Date
With our move to Louisiana, Sam and I worked this option into our dating rotation. It helps to mix things up a bit, and also lets you come up with fun date ideas to do outside the house.
Taking the kids to the Zoo? Why not share a drink or snack and stroll hand in hand… if you’re not trying to also push a stroller. Perhaps pick up some ice cream and drive around town for some site seeing while the kids nap in the car. Watch a movie as a family but cuddle really close to your spouse.
Take Advantage When In Laws are Around!
Are the In Laws coming for a visit? Go ahead and let them know you will be sneaking off for a few hours on a date while they have fun with the kids. Heading out of town to visit family? Ask when it would be convenient for them to watch the kids so you can head out to dinner.
Whenever my parents come for a visit or we head out of town to visit them, my mom and I always discuss a day that would be best for them to watch the kids. Sam and I are able to sneak off with no time limit or worrying about a babysitter needed to be home before curfew. By verbalizing expectations and making plans ahead of time, no one is caught off guard or plans forgotten in the busyness of a family visit.
Have More Ideas on How to Plan Dates with No Help OR Babysitter?
Be sure to share your ideas with us in the comments below!
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